I like to encourage everyone to write in a Journal their thoughts or prayers to God. It’s really awesome to look back at the pages and see where God has taken You. I will occasionally post a page from my journal where as I think it would encourage others. That is what the following is: just a page from my Journal, a shadow of my thoughts.

Dear God,

I know I make mistakes. My sins separate me from You. My sins take me away from who I need. I need You God. I know that my words are small. and that me, myself is small. I don’t always do for You what I say, and its aggravating to me. I want a better relationship with You, and to grow in You so much greater!

 At the cross is where I want to be found. My whole life in Your hands. At the cross is where I want to be found! To see Your Hands. The Hands that Hold my life together. Your Hands layed upon the sick and dead brings healing and Life. Your Hands upon the head of a sinner brings tears to their eyes and gives them Hope. The Hands of God! Stretched out can wipe out a whole nation! Over a field of bones, Your Hands stretched out can bring Restoration! Your Hands were pierced!

I pierced them. I took Your Hands and drove a nail, formed by my hands. My hands, which were created by You. My hands cant do anything good without You. My hands cant bring healing or Life. My hands, without You, can only bring shame and death. My hands pierced Your Hands. In my own selfishness, I pierced straight through Your Hands! In my anger, because of my sin, Your Hands bled. But You didn’t have to let me do that. You knew that Your Death would bring me life. It was Your Plan all along! But why God? Why did You go through all the extras steps! All the other pain! Why did You allow me to pierce Your Hands?

Then Your feet! Why would You allow me to drive a nail through your feet? Your feet walked on the earth You created. Your precious feet without a bit of sin, never racing to do evil, but walking down a path of light! You walk and allow me to walk with You! You washed my feet! My filthy feet! I have walked in dark and muddy places, and You washed them for me? Don’t You remember when I drove the nail through Your feet? The pain it brought You? As I swung the hammer with all my strength. My hate and jealously! My bitterness and pain, drove the nail through Your feet! Your blood cover your feet. I didn’t wash Your feet when You were laying in the dirt on a splintered piece of wood. Yet You wash mine? With Love You have taken my sins from me. Washing my feet. Jesus, Son of God! You knew that Your death would bring me life! It was Your Plan all along! I cant understand why You would want to bring someone so full of evil, life? But why? Why did you go through the extra steps? Why did You allow me to drive a nail through Your Feet?

You hung there on a cross. In pain, not just suffering with the agony of the worst death in History! But hanging on a cross, bearing all the shame of the world, everything upon You. Bruised and flesh hanging off of You, You hung on the Cross. Do You remember me standing out in the crowd? With my mouth, I mocked You. The very mouth You made. You spoke in existence the entire universe! You breathed out the stars, and into me You breathed Life! You created my mouth. My mouth was Your creation! I stood in the crowd and mocked You! I used what You gave me, against You! Yet with Your mouth, You asked for me to be forgiven! Hanging there in pain, hearing me mock You, YOU asked that I be forgiven? Amazing Love is this! I don’t understand why You would do this. You knew that Your death would bring life, but why did you go through the extra steps? Why did you let us mock You?

Yet after all this God, You looked at me, and called me to be Your own. You told me that You died for all my sins. You died for all the wrong that was done to You. You looked at me and said, “Blameless, Innocent”. How God? I don’t understand! You gave me clean hands, and a pure heart! You washed my feet. You clothed me in White, and said. “Child, walk the path of Righteousness, I will be with You. My Words will be a Light unto Your Path. It will bring You health. When you are heavy and burdened, give the load to me, I will carry it for you. In trials and suffering, count it as Joy, I will walk with You through the fire. I will always be with You. When You fall, I will carry You. I will lift You to your feet… but I am sending you, go There are others who need me. Fearlessly make Me known! And don’t worry about what to say, I am giving you My Holy Spirit, and I will do the speaking for You.”

I’m overwhelmed by all You’ve done God. That You would send me? I know all You’ve done was for Your Glory! I ask You to take my life and use me to make Your Name Famous! Take my Life, and ALL of me for Your fame and Your Glory! Set my heart on fire for You! I will go where You send me!

My prayer to You God is to give me a clearer vision of the cross! Let the picture of the cross bring me to tears. Give me a Passion to do what You call me to do. Give me a hunger for Your Word! Let Your Love be in me and run through me. Keep me in Your Love. I want to ABIDE in it all the days of my life! Teach me to delight in the sufferings I go through for You, and allow me to be more passionate for You! Through music and praise, and whatever else I do, let others see Your Love in me and around me! Make my eyes reflect Your Glory! Make my face glow with Your Glory! So that without even a Word from my mouth, people will Know who I belong to! They will KNOW I am Yours! Break my heart for what breaks Yours. When I hear about evil in the church, let me weep with You God. When I hear about a soul surrendering to You, fill me with excitement! Don’t allow me to go through life with a straight face, but a joyful reflection of who You are. Speak through me, and use me! I Love You Jesus! Give me a greater understanding and wisdom! Reveal Yourself to me, and don’t allow me to be stubborn, but to surrender every part of my life to You! I AM YOURS! You are GOD! If there is anything in my life, if there is something that does not proclaim that JESUS IS LORD OVER MY LIFE, then cast it out of me! For YOU GOD, You Jesus are LORD OVER MY LIFE! Thank You for Your Son! Thank You for the Wonderful Cross!

Your Child,
Joshua Caleb Biggar.